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Jun 16, 2020
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No More Tears

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Mighty Woman Africa will help you…..

WIPE AWAY YOUR TEARS!

For many years rape, abuse and domestic violence seem to have been for women only. But men have also become victims of rape, abuse and domestic violence. However, it is not spoken of due to it not being accepted or believed. From personal discussions I have had with men during my travels, it is very real.  

Children’s lives are also affected through this exposure and they themselves have become victims. This is the same with little babies. How sick is this world?

People say “Why don’t they go and seek for help?”. Places where you can get help have enormous responsibilities on a daily basis. Many countries are short of staff as they try to help communities all over the world!

RAPE, ABUSE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS NON-STOP THROUGHOUT THE WORLD. BUT VERY FEW PEOPLE HAVE HEARD OF MARITAL RAPE. NO-ONE BELIEVES OR UNDERSTANDS THAT THERE IS SUCH A THING!

(Marital Rape is so real that Mighty Woman Africa will talk about it in one of their future blogs)

Many tears are shed by millions of women all over the world.

So we need to ask ourselves – “Who abuses their Spouse, their intimate partners, their children or even worse, their little baby?” How disgustingly low can anyone stoop?

Below are approximate figures of what takes place-

  • Approximately ninety-two percent of physical abusers are men.
  • There are women who are perpetrators of abuse and domestic violence and they may even take it out on their children as well.
  • Up to seventy-five percent of stalkers are men stalking women.
  • There are a number of stalkers who are women stalking men.
  • Men stalk men and women stalk women.
  • Rape, abuse or domestic violence has no age or ethnic boundries.
  • Domestic violence, abuse or rape can occur during a relationship and even after a relationship has ended.

And yet these people get away with it. But God is going to deal with them in His own way!

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND ABUSE

Our first chat will be about Abuse and Domestic Violence and how we interpret it.

So, first of all let us have a little more understanding of the meaning of what abuse and domestic violence really is.

Abuse and domestic violence is a pattern of threats, force and assault behaviours which includes physical, sexual, verbal and psychological attacks and economic duress which is used against their partners. This does not happen only once. You forgive your partner after you have shed many tears and a few days or weeks later your partner does it again. Neither is it limited to manipulate you or use physical violence. This is how partners wants to seek power and control over their other partner. They use a specific tactic or a combination of tactics to instil fear and dominance over their partner.

It is very important that partners understand this will not only happen once but will be a continual occurence. And to top it all, forgiveness is always given as partners believe people change and they promise they will never do it again. Believe me when I say it never changes. It only gets worse!

POWER AND CONTROL

This is how a partner seeks power and control.  These partners use a specific way or a combination of things to instill fear and dominance over their partners and in this way they establish a pattern of desired behaviours from them. These certain behaviours are portrayed by the perpetrator and it is for these reasons that the cause of the abusive verbal and physical actions are often intended to alter and control where abuse and domestic violence affects partners.

This has a devastating consequence for other populations and societal institutions. 

There is an emphasis on WOMEN and CHILDREN being raped or abused or domestically violated by MEN who are being impacted by their own abusive behaviour. These men will stand to lose their children and their relationships and they will have to face legal consequences.

Abuse or domestic violence cuts across every segment of society. It occurs in all ages, ethnic, socio-economic, sexual orientation, and religious groups.  Abuse or domestic violence is a social, economic and health concern that does not discriminate.

Communities all over the world have developed strategies to stop the abuse and violence. They want to prove safe solutions for women of rape, abuse and domestic violence.

Women living with rape, abuse and violence in their homes have learned this is the way their partners vent their anger. Even after having shed so many tears.

They are so terrified to leave home and rather continue to deal with the abuse in the case of any threats they receive from the aggressive partner. Even any slight indication that they will leave the fear for their lives is too great for them to take a risk or even to seek help. For many abusive partners the shedding of tears is a further sign of power and control because they believe that they have broken you down.

SURVIVING PAIN

WHY DO PEOPLE RESORT TO PHYSICAL VIOLENCE:

  • They have solved their problems in the past with violence.
  • They have effectively exerted control and power over others through violence.
  • No one has stopped them from being violent in the past.

Here are some points to remember about partners who abuse:-

  • The causes of domestic violence include deeply held beliefs about masculinity.
  • Partners who abuse loved ones tend to blame other people, alcohol, drug abuse or circumstances for their violent outburts.
  • Partners often minimize, blame, justify or deny their use of violence or the impact of it towards their partners and children.

A partner who is going to counselling for their violent behaviour needs to regain the trust of their family. They must know that this will take time but need to realiase that their partner has the right to end the relationship if they choose to.

Research suggests that some partners who are violent may think about getting help, the majority of them don’t.

REASONS:

  • Acceptance of abuse or violence – a partner who thinks they are entitled to dominate family members and that it is alright to solve problems with abuse or violence, may not believe that they need help. They blame the partner or children for ‘provoking’ their behaviour.
  • A man will not go for help as he does not want to look like he is “weak” and “feminine”.
  • Those who have tried to go for counselling for their violent behaviour have unsuccessfully tried in the past as they actually did not know where to go.
  • Fear – most partners who don’t seek help report that feeling ashamed stops them from seeking help.
SURVIVING PAIN

Our next discussion is going to be “What are the different types of Abuse you can get?” You can follow us on Facebook or Instagram. Or e-mail mightywomanafrica2020@gmail.com should you wish to discuss anything personal.

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