Are you a Survivor of marital rape, rape, emotional, mental or physical abuse? Based on a true story!
People say that there is no such thing as marital rape. Well, Sarah was a victim who was constantly raped by her sweet, loving husband! Yes, a victim of MARITAL rape! By someone she trusted, someone she believed in, someone so loving, so caring. Someone who spoilt her non-stop in every sense of the word! He was a man she thought she knew and whom she had loved and married. But what she did not know was that he was a rapist; a potential murderer; extremely possessive and that his true colours would come out by the third night of their marriage. He hid it all from her. She learned about it 12 hours after they were married. And experienced it by the 3rd night of their marriage, but it was too late!
To this day it is still fresh in Sarah’s mind. Learning about it, talking about it, validating her feelings. This has allowed her to bond with other people who have experienced rape, abuse or domestic violence has helped.
So, Sarah will repeat – she is a victim of marital rape. She is a victim of illicit sex, sex on demand, forced sex and sometimes brutal and humiliating sex. Sex that was the most degrading, humiliating, painful and unwanted sex any woman could wish to have.
Many people, both women and men ask, “What is marital rape?” Marital rape is “real rape!” It is sex without consent and/or against a person’s will, obtained by force, or threat of force, intimidation. It is when a person is unable to consent. These sexual acts include intercourse, anal or oral but to name a few.
Marital rape is extremely destructive because it betrays the fundamental basis of a marital relationship. It questions every understanding the woman has of her partner, her marriage and, also of herself. It is worse she is than a murder. In almost every case of rape the woman is held responsible and it is the woman who is made to feel as if she is the criminal! The worst thing about rape is when a stranger rapes a woman she has to live with a frightening memory. But when a husband rapes his wife she has to live with him, the rapist, forever!
You will read in my book about the time Sarah had with the most beautiful husband (she thought). You will also then read how he “Shattered, Battered and Bruised” her until she made up her mind to escape. Escape from his sexual abuse, escape from the stress of his moods, and escape from being murdered. He used sex to control her, sex to claim her and sex to try and kill her. This, in Sarah’s mind was no doubt – MARITAL RAPE, NORMAL RAPE, in turn DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND ABUSE!
Here is a small insight into the book Set Free (Shattered, battered and bruised)…
Growing up in a Christian home and being involved in the church from when as far back as Sarah could remember, became a double-sided coin for her. She felt she lived in a glass house where people
continuously looked up at her family, due to her father being a preacher. The pain, resentment and bitterness from the high expectations placed upon her by both her parents and the church was just too much for her to bear. All she wanted was to be a “regular kid” like all the other kids around her.
To try and escape these pressures Sarah chose to run away as far as she could and found herself involved with everything that was against the church. This happened in-spite of all the positive input in her life, through the Word of God, which had been engraved in her. She was led captive by the addiction of rebellion during all her youth.
As a teenager Sarah knew the Bible backwards and knew that God is her Healer. He has overcome, He came to seek and save the lost, and that He had already defeated Satan. She knew but never believed, she had knowledge, but never understanding, she had encounters with God, but not a long-lasting relationship. Her problem was that she tried and failed over and over. She got to a place where she was deceived into believing that healing and restoration through God was for others and not for her!
Sin reigned everywhere – lust, ego, pride, hatred, unforgiveness, but to name a few. Sarah thought anything would be better than being on public display, exposed to critical eyes and words. At least they could not have a hold over her and expect her to be an example for other church families.Sarah soon became known as the WILD CHILD!
Her life became a “roller-coaster” ride. Raped at the age of 15, entering the world of drugs, drinking and club dancing and many other things, was just the beginning of the long road ahead that she had created for herself. Having made devastating mistakes in her life, searching, and longing for that emptiness to be filled, but to no avail!
And yet this was not the end of the road for her!
Being assaulted twice, held up at gun point at a robot was just a few more lessons that Sarah was to learn and yet she still did not heed the calling of God.
At the age of 52 years she had the horrific experience of being involved in a motor car accident where her car was dragged by a horse and trailer for 50m and then pushed for another 15m. Her car was written off and miraculously, she climbed out of the car without a visible mark on her body.
The fear that overtook her as she was totally aware of being dragged… Screaming for her children, screaming for her grandchildren, screaming for her mom, and above all screaming for God was indescribable! She was begging and praying to Him, asking Him to forgive her and asking Him to spare her life. God had been so patient with her and at no time did He ever leave her. This is what He promised in His Word… It was Sarah who walked away from Him.
It took all these years, a near death experience and continual prayer from family and friends before she acknowledged that she could not continue without Him.
This fight Sarah was having in her life was not a worldly, fleshly fight but one against principalities and powers. It was a fight she would never overcome because she was doing it in her own strength, her own thoughts, her own belief and her own actions.
This was when Sarah really sat up and took cognisance of her spiritual walk.
But the essence of this book is to write about a specific event that took place in her life and which takes place in many people’s lives, of which I feel burdened to share with you.
Surviving a marriage of marital rape! What more could have happened to Sarah? Was this the way that the devil was showing he was not ready to let go of her yet and took advantage of her situation by trying to distance her further from God?
The pain was unbearable, too much to bear and she eventually came to the point where she recognized that her heart was “dead”. She needed to be delivered but didn’t know how, she was emotionally, mentally and physically drained, until one night a voice woke her up and told her, “take up your bed and walk, I have healed you.”
This is how Sarah explained her amazing experience to me….
“I woke up and looked around the room and nobody was there and again the voice came loud and clear, “take up your bed and walk, I have healed you.” I suddenly became filled with a peace and realized God had started speaking to me. This was His plan for my life. He took what the devil meant for harm and turned it into something good. God took away my nightmares and my shame and gave me a double reward and recompense.
God wanted me to share my experience with others who are going through the same tragedies in life, to know that there is someone who loves them, someone who will take over their life and help them through each day because God cares for them.”
It took all these years for Sarah to be brought to her knees. She fought against Him from every angle but she learned that there is hope in God and nothing is too difficult for Him to full her life with love, joy, peace and happiness.
“This can happen for you too…… so take up your bed and walk because God can heal you if you will allow Him to!”
Please click www…………. To purchase SET FREE (shattered, battered and bruised). There is a section at the back of the book that has questions for you to answer to see if you are in a toxic marriage or relationship. Be honest with yourself when answering the questions and if you have any “Yes” answers please do not hesitate to contact Mighty Woman Africa.